Pregnant and Not Married

On the morning of January 6th 2025, I was an engaged woman about to go tour a couple of wedding venues with my fiance. I was three days late for my period, which hadn't been out of the ordinary the past couple months due to stress, but that morning, I felt like I needed to take a pregnancy test, just for peace of mind. So I went to the drug store and picked up a test.

A minute after taking the test, I saw two blue lines forming a "+". Despite the belief I had that it would be negative, the test was very much positive. The colors were so strong, there was no doubting what it read. I was pregnant.

Tears stung my eyes, but I knew I had to keep it together to talk to my fiance. Although I'm not sure how I did this, I collected myself enough to get to his house and sit down with him. As soon as I sat with him, the tears returned though. I couldn't get the words out, so I handed him my phone to show him the photo of the pregnancy tests that were now in their original box in my purse.

As scared as he was, just like me, he held my hand and told me we had to talk to my mom to figure out next steps. I'm grateful for his logical thinking and how his mind goes to the rational ideas of what we need to do.

So we went to my mom and told her. She reminded us that babies are blessings no matter how or when they come. We told my dad who emphasized my mom's point and reassured us that we would figure it out and that we wouldn't do it alone. Of course, we also told my fiance's parents who reacted similarly to mine.

Telling our parents and having their support definitely eased some pressure, but we were both still scared about what other people would think. We were an unmarried couple in the church who was pregnant. What were people going to say? Not just to us but behind our backs.

In all honesty though, it couldn't be worse than what I was already thinking of myself.

When our pastor asked to speak with us, my overthinking mind went wild. I had heard so many stories of churches treating people (specifically women) poorly when it comes out that they are pregnant outside of marriage.

Fortunately, it could not have gone any differently. When we sat down with our pastor, he reminded us of who we are in Christ, that God loves us, and that the church is there for us. Not only did he ask how we were doing as individuals and as a couple, but he also asked us how we were figuring things out.

He then took the Bible and had us read verses about why sex outside of marriage is wrong so that we understood why and not just the fact of it. Then he had us read verses about God's forgiveness and love to remind us that in repentance God offers forgiveness and He loves us. It was something we needed to hear.

At the time I was transitioning from my old church to the church we were going to go to together, so I had talked to my pastor's wife at the other church and what stood out to me about our conversation was that she asked how my relationship with God was. That might have been the most important question anyone could have asked me. Without a relationship with God, I have nothing. And things like this can have an impact on that relationship. Remembering that question helps me to continuously evaluate my heart. She wasn't worried about being focused on my sin, but that I was still pursuing God. It was something I needed to hear.

Many of our conversations with friends and family have gone similarly, full of love and support. As more people have been excited for us, we've gotten more excited. Not a single person in our close circles has made us feel ashamed, except for ourselves.

I had an outward sign of my sin and shame that I had been hiding from everyone. It took some time, but with the help of others, I realized that God blessed us with a baby even in the midst of our sin. My baby girl is a blessing and is God's way of redeeming our story which is so beautiful, especially since that was my point in starting Talk Busy With Lizzy.

So while we were not living in God's design for us by having sex outside of marriage, we were blessed with a baby girl. We repented and received God's forgiveness. Now we are married and can't wait to give this little girl an amazing life and raise her in accordance with God!