SAHM or Girl Boss

I'm pretty confident in saying I'm not the only person who's struggled with this mentality. We live in a world that I'm very grateful for where we can be whatever we want to be. If we choose to work or own a company, we get to. If we choose to stay home with our children, we get to. If we choose to do a mix of both, we get to. That doesn't mean it's easy to figure out what we're doing.

In two months, I will have a beautiful little girl and all I want to do is be home with her. But I also want to contribute financially. And I'd love to be able to follow some of the many dreams I have. I know I'm not alone in this dilemma, but it's easy to feel like it.

More than anything, I want to be home with my girl. I want to homeschool one day. I want her to be raised by her mom. I want to take her on adventures. I want to show her the world. My mom is a stay at home mom and I loved being raised that way. It took sacrifices from both my mom and my dad and was also a privilege for all of us---- me, my siblings, and my parents.

But the idea of staying home makes me feel guilty because I know how hard my husband works, I know how tight money is, and I want to help.

The easiest way to contribute to our family of three financially is to go out and get a job. This could be remote, part time, or full time. Finding a job right now is not easy though. I know many people struggling with this. I was trying earlier this year, but employers don't respond, job listings are out dated, or there's just so many people applying. Plus, I'm finishing school and would have to go on maternity leave in September.

Even if I did find a job, that leaves little time for spending time with my daughter and tending to the dreams I have. My blog, my podcast, my books, and the thousands of other ideas that roll through my head on a daily basis. Plus, all of the in home responsibilities.

I have a lot of hobbies and passions and it would be so fun to make them into actual money making things. But that takes time. Time I feel like I do not have. I don't want to be working for years in order to start making money on something when we need the money now.

In my ideal world, my passions would bring in income and I'd be able to do it all from inside of our home. Not like a remote job, but getting to do my hobbies while raising and homeschooling my daughter (and any other children we may have in the future). But we don't live in an ideal world, so I'm still trying to figure it all out.

So if you're struggling with knowing what to do when you have children, know that you're not alone. It's a struggle that I deal with mentally on the daily. A struggle that is isolating and never leaves my mind. It feels like there's no right answer. I suppose there's no wrong answer either. We will eventually make the decision that's best for our individual family. It will all work out.